According to the Talentsmart company, 90% of successful CEOs have a high level of Emotional Quotient. Also, employees with developed emotional intelligence earn an average of 29,000$ more per year than those who have this indicator at a low level. So what is ‘Emotional Intelligence’ and how can it improve the quality of our life? Let’s look into this theme together.
Emotional Intelligence or Emotional Quotient is the ability to understand emotion, motivation, intentions towards yourself and other people and manage it all. If IQ is the measure of intellectual, logical, analytical and thinking abilities of a person then EQ is personal and social skills.
The concept of intelligence quotient (IQ) has been known to us for more than a 100 years whereas EQ started being talked about only in 1990 after a small article called ‘Emotional Intelligence’ was published in a scientific journal. It was written by two scientists John Mayer and Peter Salovey who were sure that emotional intelligence was a separate kind of intelligence and a new form of approach to information that we get by emotion. But the article failed and all the glory went to the journalist of New York Times — Daniel Goleman who reworked the article and wrote the book ‘The Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ’ in 1995. There, he describes the four main components of EQ:
- Self-awareness — the ability to recognize and analyze your own emotions, as well as knowledge of your weaknesses and strengths;
- Self-management — the ability to manage your own emotions and have emotional balance even in a critical situation;
- Empathy — understanding the emotions of others and the ability to communicate with others taking into account their internal state;
- Relationship skills — the ability to communicate with people, manage their emotions, settle conflicts, work in a team and be the leader of it.
Thus, emotional intelligence is needed to be more aware, to better understand your emotions and yourself. It is also a powerful tool for forming harmonious relationships with others. These two factors significantly increase the chances of achieving success in work and personal life.
But how do you determine your level of emotional intelligence?
To do this, you need to analyze your behavior. It is worth giving thought to having a low EQ if you:
are constantly offended and do not know how to forgive others;
often think that you have been misunderstood;
can’t handle stress;
don’t understand what you feel and why;
criticize others and argue to no avail;
are afraid of changes and adapting to the new environment.
So, how do you develop your EQ?
Write down your emotions. Get a notebook or make notes on your phone where you can record your condition during the day. Focus on some specific events and analyze your feelings after important meetings, meeting new acquaintances and after significant events. This way you will understand how and what you are reacting to.
Find the source. When you understand what you feel and when, figure out why this is happening. What exactly makes you angry? And happy? You need to understand the real reason for your emotions. Don’t judge yourself, just sort out the sources.
Manage your emotions. When you understand what you feel and why, move on to controlling your emotions. Think about how you can regain a state of calm when you start to get angry. Find something that will please you in moments of sadness. Pick up a tool that will bring you to the right state, and constantly use it.
The most difficult thing in developing emotional intelligence is to start. Begin to listen carefully to yourself and catch the emotion. Without this exercise, no number of books could bring you closer to feeling happy, overcoming fears and other tasks that we want to solve with the help of emotion management.
“Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ” by Daniel Goleman